Healbans and Asshats

Some of you reading this blog are healers like myself, and you can relate to this post on a personal level. Some of you have seen things like this happen, and have shaken your heads in disbelief at the audacity of some of the people who play this game. Some of you, though hopefully the minority, are who this entry will be about, and for that I do not apologize.

(As a side note: Does anyone know what's wrong with the Asshat mod? It's not been working for me lately. :()

WAR is the first MMO that I have played a healer. In WoW, I hated healing. I played a Paladin, specc'd to tank, and decided to be the best I could possibly be at tanking and only tanking. At my character's zenith, I was 21st in the world unbuffed HP, 6th in the US. I theorycrafted and researched in order to squeeze every last bit out of my toon... but you would be hard pressed to EVER find me casting a heal. In fact, the one time I ever healed in a raid was when I was main tanking Kael'thas for our guild's progression kill (the warrior tanks were rather butthurt about that, truth be told) and our warlock tank's healer died. A Shadow Priest guildie popped out of shadow form and I ran to the back of the room and we kept him up till his healer could get a battle res, and because of Pity and my quick thinking we wound up killing him that attempt. However, I refused to ever spend EPGP or use my tokens to purchase healing gear. I simply had no interest in it.

This game, however, changed all that. Even with the Zealot's issues, I still find healing in this game to be far more dynamic than in WoW. Sure, its still "Click and keybind, click and keybind" but there is so much more to my character than I could have hoped for in WoW, and I actually have a chance to escape an attacker with shields, detaunts, silence, knockback and stun. Healing in WAR has so much of a different feel to it that I really can't see myself doing much else. In fact, even on my squig herder, I get this weird twinge when I see people's HP going down on my Squared and I have no way to make it go back up.

Now, I I am starting to understand the reasoning behind the "healban" thing some priests and druids and shamans spoke of in WoW.

The following is a little list of reasons why you will stop getting heals from me. I have a (very short) list of people in the game who will not ever receive a direct heal from me, EVER, and here are the reasons why:

1. You run up to me jumping up and down at 80% HP, then stand there not doing anything. I can see your HP on Squared. I don't need a jack-in-the-box to remind me that part of your HP bar is empty.

2. You run back to me jumping up and down at 80% HP and bring a train of Order MDPS straight back into the back lines where they proceed to switch targets to the nearest healer (usually me) and then watch as I get a mudhole stomped in my face and do nothing to help me. Grow a pair, FFS.

3. You're a tank in my group that has no idea what Guard is for.

4. You're an overnuking sorc who has no idea how to manage your own Backlash. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind healing sorcs who are nuking the opposition into the next millenia. However, you padding the numbers on the scenario charts with butt-tons of AOE while not actually killing anyone, then complaining you're not getting heals is NOT going to put you too high on my priority list. I'm not there to be your healbot unless we agree upon some kind of arrangement beforehand. (Hint: You like heals, I like gold. Ya dig?)

5. You are an MDPS player that likes to overextend and has no idea what LOS is. If you are out of heal range in the enemies back lines or behind a boulder, do not expect heals unless I don't have to risk my own neck to give them to you. Granted, I appreciate that you are trying to harry the enemy squishies back there, but if I can't reach you without putting myself in reach of their entire team's nukes and CC you're just going to have to suck it up and run back from spawn. Similarly, if you're seeing alot of green numbers on your screen, running behind rocks and other scenery = BAD. Situational awareness is your friend.

6. I'm dead because you were more concerned with beating on an Ironbreaker than taking out the Witch Hunter with his rapier jammed up my back end.

7. You have openly accused me (or other healers) in the scenario of "not healing". I assure you, I am healing. It's the only thing I CAN do. Since the heals I have given you don't seem to count for some reason (either due to me prioritizing or being dead myself) or are insufficient in your opinion, enjoy receiving no heals whatsoever. That way you can see what it's like when I actually consciously don't heal you.

8. I am ress'ing another healer that died in order to facilitate keeping our team alive. Ressing another healer > healing you... especially if we are short on healing in a scenario, which is more often than not the case.

9. You are someone that could be helping to heal but you are specc'd for LOLDPS, and then complain about not getting heals. What, your piddly self heals/HoTs aren't enough to keep you up Mister DPS DOK? Congrats on that 47k damage and 17k healing (all done on yourself). I hope it was worth you being a wasted slot in the scenario.

10. You are off solo in your own group to farm renown. You are selfish and an asshat, and I refuse to keep you alive so you can leech renown (and/or XP if you're sub-40) off the rest of the team. I can't group heal you, and I can't buff you, and I will be damned if I'm going to cast 2.5s (plus the GCD, making them actually 3 seconds...) single target heals on some idiot who thinks he's a beautiful and unique snowflake instead of a group heal on the rest of the people who behave like team players. Just because your mommy told you you're special doesn't mean you are.

11. You are a R28 Marauder complaining that you didn't get heals when you ran headlong into the sea of red in front of you and were two-shot by a R40 BW. And no, you're not getting a res either.

12. You're a R28 who died in the Fortress Lord's room (where you had no business being) and then bitched in Region chat (and in profanity-laced tells) that the healers trying to keep the Lord tank (and the rest of the WB you didnt bother to join) alive are "elitist" for not ress'ing your lowbie ass or making you a healing priority. (Thankfully the new caps have pretty much taken care of this, but it's an old gripe.)

13. You spend so much time typing in scenario chat about how bad our team sucks/how OP Order's CC is/how we're up against a premade and can't win/that other people need to be doing XYZ/that so-and-so is a noob/needs to l2p, etc. that you've contributed nothing to our side except making yourself an undeniable nuisance. Or, similarly, if I'm in the scenario with one of our premades and you're some R32 PUG trying to dish out orders. The 6 of us calling focus fire targets on Ventrilo > you instructing us to chase after the lone IB decoy going mid.

14. You're a tank who has no idea how to Taunt fetching Lions.

These are all I can come up with right now, but feel free to add your own in the Comments. :)